Even in the darkest hour,
I can see the light,
even in the hardest storm,
I can see the rainbow
It always
struck me (as, how can this be?) when I was in school, to learn that a great lot of the people we call
saints, could actually be described as villains (the narrative contains the
part of the story where the person who later attained sainthood was a thief or
a prostitute or a taxman or a sinner), before attaining sainthood. Although it
makes sense that one turns to the light only after experiencing the dark side,
the structures of our society, mainly the religions as for that matter, hold
the narrative of divine versus evil, right versus wrong, good guys versus bad
guys. Choose your battle field, either with us or against us. So, we are
conditioned from early age to try to be good and righteous. Thus trying to exorcise
the “bad”, the dark side. We try to bury it, to pretend it’s not there. But
what gets buried can also be a seed. In this way, what we are educated to feel
guilty and shame about, what we’re trying to fight to elimination, keeps on
coming back, knocking on the door, shaking the foundations of our structure.
So the idea of sainthood in itself is well
intentioned, after all it talks about how some people have come to realizing
themselves, and become enlightened. The problem comes with the idea that the
saints are in a different boat from the sinners. In this way the patrons of our
society are trying to reduce us into flawed beings that need to get back in the
safety and conformity of the herd.
They’re
desperately trying to control people, but this tool for control turns against
them and against humanity itself, as we clearly witnessed through the church’s
sex scandals.
In this way
we are “educated” to exorcise the shadow part of the self, as well as the dark
parts of life. And then people try to walk in life with a smile on their face,
with a façade of happiness. No wonder people feel numb, with no contact to
their feelings, trying to compensate the luck of it with consumerism, use of tobacco,
alcohol, substances. Even in the so called spiritual world, people are talking
about the light from within, and shining your light to world and that sort of
things. How about shining some light to our shadows? Eh? I know from experience
that it is uncomfortable and scary. It’s a space from which I was conditioned
to turn my head away, to try to ignore, to not talk about. But spirituality,
walking in the path of light isn’t about wearing the mask of the Buddha. It’s
not about celebrating our bright sides, only, but bringing awareness to our whole
being. And again, I know it’s scary and uncomfortable but –apart from the fact
that “ce la vie”- we are intelligent creatures and there are ways to get out of
the drama narrative and deal with these things in an intelligent and helpful
way, as I learnt from the amazing legacy of Osho and from philosophies like
NLP.
The original
reason for writing this was an article about the Buddhist saint Milarepa in
Lion’s Roar magazine. The way it resonated with my life at this period is
another reason for sharing these thoughts. Milarepa “committed grave crimes at
an early age, then later had a radical change of heart”. Going through some
very hard times he became one of the: “masters (who) sing spontaneously from
their own immediate experience about what they have realized directly”.
Have you
been chasing your thoughts—the objects of adverse conditions? Are the demons of
hope and fear getting to you?
"All phenomena are one’s own
mind, and that mind itself is luminosity-emptiness; Therefore, to take these demons and obstacles as external and
delight over making them leave is useless.” Then, manifesting fearless confidence, Milarepa sang this song of realization, “Having Confidence in the View”:
Father, victorious over the armies of the four maras,
I bow at the feet of Marpa the Translator.
I bow at the feet of Marpa the Translator.
People call me a human, but
I am the son of the great snow lioness.
In my mother’s womb, I perfected three powers.
When I was a baby, I slept in my den.
When I was a youth, I guarded its gates.
As a full-grown lion I wander in snowy heights.
I have no fear of stormy blizzards.
I’m not afraid of steep rocky cliffs.
I am the son of the great snow lioness.
In my mother’s womb, I perfected three powers.
When I was a baby, I slept in my den.
When I was a youth, I guarded its gates.
As a full-grown lion I wander in snowy heights.
I have no fear of stormy blizzards.
I’m not afraid of steep rocky cliffs.
People call me a human, but
I am the son of the garuda, king of birds.
While inside the egg, I developed my wings.
When I was a baby, I slept in the nest.
When I was a youth, I guarded its gates.
A full-grown garuda, I fly in the sky.
I have no fear of the sky’s expanse.
I’m not afraid of narrow ravines.
I am the son of the garuda, king of birds.
While inside the egg, I developed my wings.
When I was a baby, I slept in the nest.
When I was a youth, I guarded its gates.
A full-grown garuda, I fly in the sky.
I have no fear of the sky’s expanse.
I’m not afraid of narrow ravines.
People call me a human, but
I am the son of the colossal whale.
In my mother’s womb, my golden spots grew.
When I was a baby, I slept in the nest.
When I was a youth, I led the school.
A full-grown great fish, I roam the vast sea.
I have no fear of the sea’s mighty waves.
I’m not afraid of hooks or nets.
I am the son of the colossal whale.
In my mother’s womb, my golden spots grew.
When I was a baby, I slept in the nest.
When I was a youth, I led the school.
A full-grown great fish, I roam the vast sea.
I have no fear of the sea’s mighty waves.
I’m not afraid of hooks or nets.
People call me a human, but
I am a son of the Kagyu gurus.
In my mother’s womb, I gave rise to faith.
When I was a baby, I entered the gateway of dharma.
When I was a youth, I put effort in study.
An adult, I wander in mountain retreats.
Though ghosts may be savage, I am not afraid.
Though demons play many tricks, I am not afraid.
I am a son of the Kagyu gurus.
In my mother’s womb, I gave rise to faith.
When I was a baby, I entered the gateway of dharma.
When I was a youth, I put effort in study.
An adult, I wander in mountain retreats.
Though ghosts may be savage, I am not afraid.
Though demons play many tricks, I am not afraid.
When the lioness stands in the snow, her paws do not freeze.
If the lioness’s paws froze in the snow,
Her perfected three powers would be of little use.
The flying garuda cannot fall from the sky.
If the great garuda could fall from the sky,
Its broad wingspan would be of little use.
If the lioness’s paws froze in the snow,
Her perfected three powers would be of little use.
The flying garuda cannot fall from the sky.
If the great garuda could fall from the sky,
Its broad wingspan would be of little use.
When the whale swims in water, it cannot drown.
If the great whale succumbed to the water and drowned,
Being born in the water would be of little use.
If the great whale succumbed to the water and drowned,
Being born in the water would be of little use.
Iron boulders cannot be destroyed by stones.
If iron boulders could be destroyed by stones,
For smelting and refining, they would be of little use.
If iron boulders could be destroyed by stones,
For smelting and refining, they would be of little use.
I, Milarepa, have no fear of ghosts.
If Milarepa had fear of ghosts,
Realizing the abiding nature would be of little use.
If Milarepa had fear of ghosts,
Realizing the abiding nature would be of little use.
You band of ghosts, demons, and obstructing spirits here,
How sublime it is that you’ve come at this time.
Don’t hurry; relax and stay for a while.
Let’s chat about everything under the sun.
How sublime it is that you’ve come at this time.
Don’t hurry; relax and stay for a while.
Let’s chat about everything under the sun.
You’re hurried? Aw! You can stay just one night!
We’ll vie in a contest of all our three gates
And we’ll see the difference between virtue and nonvirtue.
I won’t let you leave until you’ve made some obstacles.
If you should go back without making obstacles,
How ashamed and embarrassed to have come here you’ll be.
After he sang this, Milarepa got up with confidence in his practice and charged in amongst the demons.
We’ll vie in a contest of all our three gates
And we’ll see the difference between virtue and nonvirtue.
I won’t let you leave until you’ve made some obstacles.
If you should go back without making obstacles,
How ashamed and embarrassed to have come here you’ll be.
After he sang this, Milarepa got up with confidence in his practice and charged in amongst the demons.
(From Lion's Roar "The Hundred Thousand Songs Of Milarepa: A New translation")
